Hummings of a Happy Hurkle

Past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

Midget clairvoyant escapes from prison. Headline: “Small Medium At Large!”

Puns are a rare medium well done.

Guy sends in ten puns to a magazine contest. Headline: guy fails to win prize, no pun in ten did.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense.

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

Guy escapes from lunatic asylum and rapes a cleaner. Headline: “Nut screws washer and bolts.”

Red boat collides with blue boat. Both crews marooned.

A good pun is its own reword.

Ouch!

On Monday, you flip coins all day. You start flipping coins until you see the pattern Head, Tail, Head. Then you record the number of flips required, and start flipping again until you see that pattern, you record it, and start again. At the end of the day you average all of the numbers you’ve recorded.
On Tuesday you do the EXACT same thing except you flip until you see the pattern Head, Tail, Tail.

Will Monday’s number be higher than Tuesday’s, equal to Tuesday’s, or lower than Tuesday’s?

Solution over the fold.
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You didn’t really think one puzzle was the end of it, did you?

Fred and Norma held a dinner party and invited 4 other couples. As people arrived, Fred noticed that people who knew each other hugged or kissed, but if they were strangers they just shook hands. After all the arrivals and all the introductions, Fred asked everyone including Norma how many hands they had shaken. To his surprise he got 9 different answers.

How many of the dinner guests were strangers to Norma?

Answer over the fold (more…)

Speaking of good science, here is a nice article and video about the Hubble Ultra Deep Field.

http://scienceblogs.com/startswithabang/2009/08/hell_yeah_hubble.php?utm_source=selectfeed&utm_medium=rss

It includes a “fly through” of ancient galaxies.

The earliest galaxies visible are 13 bn years old, were created when the universe was 0.5m years old, and are now 43 LY away and (although not actually moving much) are receding due to space time expansion at more than light speed.

Time for another puzzle, to get the juices going again!

Instructions:

1. Deal out 2 full packs of cards in one long row, all face down (or in circles or loops or whatever, as long as you can count along them!).
2. Starting with the first card, turn over every card.
3. Starting with the second card, turn over every second card.
4. Starting with the third card, turn over every third card.
5. Starting with the fourth card, turn over every fourth card.
6. And so on, until every card has been used as a starting point.

Question: how many cards are now face up?
Bonus: what will be the effect of including the jokers?

Solution over the fold

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For really unusual vegetables you can actually buy, simply search out a suitable Asian grocery. You should easily find gai lan, sin qua, kang kong, the choy family, daikon (and other radishes), cucurbits such as bitter and fuzzy melon, kumara (and yam and other sweet potatoes), lotus root, cloud ear (and cepes and other fungi), cooking bananas, taro, plus a wide range of beans, peas and lentils.

If you find a friendly place, they can be very helpful with recipes too. I got a great recipe for borlotti beans from a Lebanese green grocer.

Senator Fielding has been outspoken in questioning anthropogenic climate change. I wondered who was advising him.

David Evans seems to be not a climatologist but a mathematician who builds climate models.
http://sciencespeak.com/NoEvidence.pdf

Here is a summary, as I understand it. I think there are serious questions here to be answered, but I cannot answer them.

Evidence:

• Global warming is on trend at around 0.5C per century since the end of the little ice age in 1700.
• There is a roughly 30 year cycle, with rising temperatures from 1975-2001 and flat to cooler since then.
• CO2 was 280 ppmv pre-industrial, started rising seriously in about 1945, now 389, still rising on a steady trend.
• Ice cores show correlation of CO2 and temperatures, with temperature rising 800 years before CO2 (100,000 years).
• Geologic evidence shows no consistent correlation over earlier periods (many millions of years).
• There is no geologic evidence of runaway positive feedback despite higher CO2 levels (see later). [Accepted???]
• Specific predictions made by main models (eg tropical hotspot) have not happened. [Accepted???]
• Recent direct measurements of climate sensitivity produce an estimate of around 0.5C. [Accepted???]

Known theory (accepted):

• [Climate sensitivity means how much warming for doubling of CO2 (280 to 570 in 2070)].
• As GHG without feedback, climate sensitivity is 1.2C. Any deviation from this figure requires feedback because of effect on water vapour. Positive feedback means high figure; negative feedback means lower figure.

Model theory (not accepted):

• Most assume (without evidence) positive feedback so climate sensitivity is roughly 3.3C (but could be higher or lower).
• All predictions flow from this assumption. One prediction is the tropical hotspot, but this has not happened (so the model is wrong?).
• If climate sensitivity is actually 0.5C (negative feedback) then the models produce totally different results.

If you remember just one question, remember this one: climate sensitivity: is the feedback positive or negative?

Allow me to make some mildly provocative statements — all of which I can justify.

1. All climate models are wrong, and not one has yet made a correct prediction of substance (other than by pure chance).
2. Peak oil and energy shortages will be a threat to our survival long before climate change.
3. Shortages of food, water and arable land will be a threat to our survival long before climate change.
4. Worldwide, the only things that can reduce CO2 are coal (don’t use it) and deforestation (don’t do it).
5. For Australia, the only thing that can reduce CO2 is to close all the coal mines.
6. The main purpose of a carbon tax or emissions trading scheme is to double/treble the price of electricity and petrol.
7. The other purpose is give governments more power and/or make rich people/criminals/bankers richer.

I am not particularly sceptical about climate change itself, so much as the excessive claims made especially by non-scientists. Rising CO2 levels and associated climate change are certainly major problems, but that does not mean any of the specific predictions are correct. We need to buy insurance, not guard against a specific outcome. Mainly, we have to treat energy, forests, water and other resources as finite and aim for reduced consumption and genuine sustainability. That is simply not happening.

By the way, these are not the messages that the militant eco-freaks want you to hear.

Just thinking out loud…

Consider a 2 litre petrol engine, idling at 720 rpm or 12 revs/sec. It takes two revolutions for each cylinder to complete its cycle (4 stroke assumed), so 6 cycles/sec. The amount of air/fuel mixture drawn into the cylinder(s) is 2 litre per cycle, or 12 litre/sec. At 7200 rpm it would be 120 litre/sec. In general, the figure is (RPM * engine capacity) / 120.

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I am continually annoyed by the language used in weather forecasts. Why can’t they speak English?

Example: “A trough and low over the east are generating widespread heavy rain and damaging winds over northeast NSW, leading to flooding and dangerous surf. A vigorous front is crossing the WA west coast, causing destructive winds, squally showers and thunderstorms. “

• The words trough, low, front are weather-speak: meaningless until you’ve done the training course.
• The word widespread describes an area, but why should I care? I just want to know if it affects me.
• The words heavy rain, damaging winds, flooding, dangerous surf, thunderstorms are good. Anyone should understand those.
• The word squally is well known to sailors, but meaningless in any other context.

ME: “Heavy rain and damaging winds over large parts of north-eastern NSW with flooding and dangerous surf. Heavy showers or thunderstorms with high winds along the WA west coast.”

Another: “A fine, mild to warm and sunny day. Moderate northeasterly winds, freshening during the evening.”

Again, lots of special words: fine, mild, moderate, freshening mean? Much clearer would be:

ME: “Nice sunny day, warm for the time of year. Good breeze, could get a bit windy later.”

Why do they keep doing that?